If you’ve recently joined the flirtatious throngs of ridiculously good-looking people here on DarwinDating.com, chances are decent that the upcoming month will mark your first holiday season with a scathingly hot and altogether superior significant other at your side.
My advice to you is thus: Don’t F this up.
Yes, the holiday season presents a virtual relationship minefield of potential miscommunications and missed expectations, not to mention the undoubtedly terrifying prospect of being introduced to your hot partner’s parents and getting a glimpse of just how miserable life will be once the beauty has faded and only the painfully vacuous, supercilious personality remains.
But I digress. My point is: all that jolly Noel crap is going to be worth it. Firstly, you can look forward to stoking the holiday spirit with a little under the mistletoe nookie. And all it takes to get smooches on New Year’s Eve is standing within 5 feet of someone attractive and vaguely leaning in their direction. And Valentine’s Day? Guys, have you seen the kind of stuff gorgeous women wear on Valentine’s Day? Best return on a dozen roses you will EVER get.
So, Ladies and Gents, here’s how to not F-up your first Christmas with a date that is way too good-looking for you:
1) Think of gifts that serve her interests, not yours. She loves kayaking, but you got her a sweet new board in hopes it would turn her into a surfer chick? And hey, if it doesn’t, surely she won’t mind if you borrow it from time to time, right?
2) Don’t be stingy. A discount $10 DVD is an awesome gift for your little brother. But for a high-class beauty, you better be thinking something a bit more exotic. Sure that costs moolah, but if you want to date a 10, you better remember ABE: Always Be Earning.
3) For god’s sake, DON’T GIVE A GIFT CARD. Gift Cards are a fine gift for your kid’s teacher, the lawyer who got you out of that DUI, or maybe that guy who does your taxes. They are NOT OK for anyone you’re sleeping with, or one day hope to sleep with.
Now, if all of that sounds a little too much work, I am truly sorry (not really). I know what you’re thinking:
I’m pretty hot myself, I did after all get accepted in to Darwin Dating, shouldn’t my shiny new significant other, hot as they are themselves, nonetheless be grateful to have landed a catch like me?
Friend, that’s B-Level talk right there, and Mr. Charles Darwin intended his site to be a gathering place of Alpha Males and Females, with looks that excel beyond all others, leaving no room (or even desire for room) for consideration of other qualities, or indeed, others. So that’s how it’s going to go down.
Enjoy the mating!